A slightly larger than average Dildo, is a cross between Jim Anderson (from Father Knows Best) and Homer Simpson. He is goofy but lovable, intelligent but unequipped to deal with all that his complicated family throws at him. He is 45 years old, works at a Gynecologists office, has a comb over and is often portrayed wearing a tie.
She's lighter and smaller than Mr. Dildo. She is also 45. She is stuck somewhere between a 1950's housewife and a modern day mom. She starts out as a full time, stay at home mom, but eventually takes a job as a substitute teacher to make ends meet. She is often seen cooking. She has blond well coiffed hair and is the only character that has arms.
Being your typical rebellious teenager at age 17, he is always pushing the boundaries. He is still searching for and defining his identity and thus changes his hairstyle and manner of dress often. He is about the same height as Mrs. Dildo but skinnier.
Cindy and Mindy - are the opposite ends of a double dong permanently in a U shape. They are mostly seen in their Catholic school girl outfits. The twins are 13 but intelligent and knowledgeable beyond their years. The twins are truly snarky and provide a lot of humor with their off beat, off hand, non PC comments.
The Dildos' beloved pet is a the vibrating egg.
The son of the next-door neighbors is a buttplug. He is odd and quirky 11-year old. The kid no one really likes, but everyone tolerates.